Dudes with Dogs is helping men talk about their mental health all over the country

Original article on CountryLiving UK
By: Lisa Walden

While mental illnesses can affect anyone, anywhere, men can sometimes struggle to talk about how they are feeling more than women. Sadly, suicide still stands as the biggest cause of death for men under 35-years-old and 12.5% of men in the UK suffer from a common mental health disorder.

Hearing statistics like these can weigh heavy in our hearts but it's vital we use them as a driving force to be the change we want to see.

Back in October 2019, Rob Osman launched the men's mental health walking community, Dudes and Dogs. After losing his father at a young age, Rob found himself suffering from depression — something he found men weren't very good at talking about.

His concept for Dudes and Dogs was simple: a group of men would head out into the countryside, bring a dog (if they had one), and talk, openly, without any stigma, about how they were truly feeling. For those with depression, anxiety, or fears hanging over them like thick fog, the group was a lifeline.

"Dudes and Dogs exists to encourage dialogue and to show that emotions don't need to mean weakness. Embracing these emotions is about what makes us strong, not ignoring them," Rob tells Country Living. "I'm a big believer that if you do open up and talk, things get a lot easier. It's nothing new, but blokes aren't really very good at that. I'm really lucky that my strength is my emotion, but for most of my life, I saw being over-emotional and soft as my weakness. I believed as a male that I had to be a certain way."

"Blokes talk better when there's something to distract them"

Rob found that men are more likely to talk freely if there's something occupying them at the same time, as opposed to simply chatting over coffee. That might be playing football, a video game, or walking the dog. "I very quickly realized that blokes talk better when there's something to distract them," Rob tells us.

"If my mates and I are kicking a ball about we can pretty much talk about anything. If you tell a guy to sit down and talk about his feelings, he will freak out. Whereas if you say 'come on let's go for a walk', it's so much easier. You can walk side-by-side."

"I've left walks feeling incredibly moved by what people have shared with us"

Dudes With Dogs started on Facebook, where Rob made a page to encourage men in the Bristol area to head out on an hour-long dog walk. Now, with over 10,000 followers, the group has seen life-changing conversations take place between men of all ages.

"We had one lad who lost his fiancée in his early twenties two weeks before they were due to get married. He had the funeral and then went straight back to work — he didn't see a counselor, a therapist, or anyone," Rob says.

"The first time he did anything was on one of our walks. I could not be prouder that we are getting people like that to join us — they are the ones that are being missed. I've left walks so emotional and have been incredibly moved by what people have shared with us. The bonds that have been formed are incredible. We've had people opening up about childhood traumas that they have never spoken about before."

"My relationship with my dog has been hugely beneficial for my mental health"

Rob has a beautiful five-year-old Hungarian Vizsla who regularly joins the men on a walk. We know that dogs can brighten our moods and help to ease the pangs of loneliness, but what is the reason for having pups on the walk?

"Can dogs be hugely beneficial and change a mood in an instant? Yes, absolutely. My relationship with my dog has been hugely beneficial for my mental health. All your dog wants to do is adore you. There's something incredibly special about having something so loving in your life," adds Rob.

"The bond with a dog is just something else. I suffered from depression when my dad died and I didn't realize that it would be the only bout of depression that I would suffer from. I was a bit sad. I didn't realize how sad I was in teenage years and how much my anxiety was affecting me. I tried antidepressants. I'm not saying that they don't work, but they cut off your feelings and emotions. It didn't work for me and that was a good thing to discover. My dog is the best therapy that I ever had."

"It wasn't until I started talking and walking the dog that I realized just how good fresh air was. Even if I was just going into the woods to have a cry, I felt better at the end. Suddenly, I realized that what had helped me could also help others. Time in the fresh air, time with the dog, and time talking. Dogs are like four-legged antidepressants."

Ex-soldiers are having their lives transformed by the walking group, too

Dudes With Dogs has grown impressively, despite only launching just under a year ago. One of the newest branches of the group is a walking community for the military division, which is headed up by a former royal marine commander. "The suicide rate in the military is brutal. You only have to watch the news to see how unsupported these guys are once they return home," Rob says.

With 600 ex-soldiers on the military walks already, it exists to help them heal, talk, and find their feet again after returning from the front line. "We have had an amazing guy involved in the group who had all four limbs removed and competed in the Invictus Games. It really is amazing."